You’ve seen my nipples. Now, let's get even friendlier.
In sixth grade language arts class, I remember our crazy southern Methodist language arts teacher Ms. Lawton teaching us a unit on subliminal advertising. After scarfing down her two Rice Krispie Treat and a Coke for lunch every day, she'd show us The Truth: the evils of advertising. We spent an entire month neglecting vocabulary and diagraming sentences and instead learned how to spot skulls airbrushed into Marlboro smoke or fellatio references in Chivas print ads. It was supposed to open our eyes to the treachery of the advertising world. Fortunately, I just thought it was fun.
So, thanks, Ms. Lawton. Without you, I probably wouldn't be sharing my nipples on the internet right now.